Tea Corner

Critique my poem: The Past Time ?

By the window she sits
Whereupon the sun hammers all day but it’s hard to feel
Everywhere outside the leaves are aging
But I have all the time left in the world
That’s what she always says
And there’s the rain beyond the window
And the hourglass hanging in the kitchen
Holding minutes in the sand
On the yellowed tablecloth cups of tea crouch un-drunk
Even though the kettle whistles each day
Cookie crumbs leave a trail from yesterday
With little regard for the passing
Up on the red roof, on the sun-baked, wind-worn tiles
Dead bird’s nest sups up life
She knits in silence because she’s straining her ears
It’s a lifelong wait for the doorbell to ring.
Yes my poem needs some polishing.. I’ll work on it for a bit. About the title: it’s a play on the word “past time”, like “hobby”. i. The lady’s past time is knitting but it is actually waiting for someone from her past to return and hence- time that has “passed”

its alright i guess.

you need to take more notice of ‘stanza’s’ and i’m sorry, but it’s way too cliche`. i feel like your not talking about anything meaningful or minorly related to the past time, but instead just talking about leaves or whatever.

poetry is all about communicating emotions and i dont feel like you’ve done that. try to think about what you’re writing and communicating what you feel a bit more to the reader.

Anger

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